


Present.

by annplatan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But he won't tell him, Future Fic, Hinata has a crush on Kageyama, It's okay Ushijima is here to help, M/M, kind of coffee shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annplatan/pseuds/annplatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata gets self conscious and Ushijima is there to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Present.

**Author's Note:**

> Might have a few mistakes, comment if you feel like it cause I like feedback.

Ushijima mumbled into his skin. Creamy, a tanned peach colour with freckles like stars splattered on his skin. The back was well formed, muscles carved after the modelling from strenuous sport and exertion. Ushijima moved to rest his chin in a nook between his shoulder and neck. One hand went to play with orange tangles and the other went to caress the length of Hinata's arm; finding bony, clumsy fingers and nails bitten short. Hinata was barely sitting up, he'd just been wakened by Ushijima and he leaned into the taller, stable body for support. He was wishing to fall asleep but somehow each time that slumber threatened to shut his eyes, the mumblings into his skin got deeper. It sent a shiver through him and invaded his core with a rumble that Hinata found to be just like Ushijima.

He smiled as he thought about the searching hands and brown eyes, they kept to themselves but were oddly revealing nonetheless, it was one of the things that Hinata endeared most about his companion. Many things that Ushijima did were endearing but even so, Hinata couldn't bring himself to love him.

It felt disgusting, and even when Ushijima said he didn't care (in an abundance of times), Hinata still felt like he was cheating him of something, using him unjustly. It made him feel ugly, insecure.

Now in bed, the wind from the windows Ushijima had opened splashed on his face in a _'good morning'_ ,

Hinata scrunched his nose, furrowed his brow and frowned as his thoughts weighed on his sleepy mind.

 

Ushijima seemed to notice and once again the mumbles sung into the skin began to vibrate in low, ponderous hums. Hinata tried to open his eyes, but Ushijima covered them and Hinata's forehead with his palm.

 **"Calm down"**    was said   in a   low   and   soft   rumble,

 

more like a suggestion than a command. It didn't break any sound barrier and the words sung by Ushijima seemed so quiet, calming; but at the same time Hinata felt so invaded, rattled; he leaned further into Ushijima. As if it were an antagonistic muscle reflex, Ushijima moved his hand from Hinata's arm but before he could place it in a desired spot, Hinata grabbed the forearm and gripped the muscle tightly in his hand. 

It was the first real physical exertion Hinata was presented with in the morning and he groaned as his muscles remembered the strain from training yesterday evening. The grip was to search for support and (Hinata didn't notice but) his arm was starting to shake.

Ushijima paused a moment and then relaxed the muscles in his arm. Hinata loosened his grip after a few deep, heavy breaths. Ushijima still had his hand covering Hinata's eyes and face, it didn't move from there. Instead he moved his other palm (Hinata still held on to it loosely) and placed it on top of Hinata's lungs:

 **"Calm down"** rolled   across   his body,

 

falling from Ushijima's mouth into Hinata's lap (or floated into the proximity, depends on the extent to which the words respected gravity I guess). It was repeated with the same volume and tenor; the same caution and care.

After regulating his breaths, Hinata craned his neck back to look at Ushijima and then gave him a curious look which was followed by a smile.

 

_Just how do you do that?_

Ushijima was always suspiciously reassuring, even if he was quiet, and even if Hinata couldn't find out why he made him feel so comfortable, [he didn't take Ushijima's consideration for granted.]

 

"Make me breakfast?" his smile widened the teensiest bit. [Not always that is.]

After small frown and a moment thought, Ushijima slowly climbed from the bed (off Hinata) and headed to the kitchen. Without something to support him, Hinata fell back onto the sheets; his back feeling oddly cold: and he knew exactly why. He pouted to himself and started to roll around and kick at the sheets. He kneaded and tangled himself in them as a pastime in waiting for breakfast.

 

 

Guilt lay in the empty pit of his stomach. Even if Ushijima did say it was fine, Hinata still felt bad. Even so, he still came back, back to Ushijima's apartment, he still slept with him, he still lingered swooped in clean sheets with a fresh, earthy, present smell. Sometimes all he did there was take silent naps on the couch while Ushijima made dinner: the sweet smell of fruits, mulled wine **(alcohol**. That's how it happened.)

 

(Hinata was whinning in drunken frustration at how dense Kageyama was being to his feelings, the raven-head going on, enticing of Hinata's desires. Ushijima proved a good listener and Hinata, even during his drunken rambling, had to admire the patience with which Ushijima presented him with. It was very polite and for some reason, it had Hinata break into a fit of violent giggles in the middle of his ranting. 

He clammered to the floor and the wine he was holding spilt on his hair and face, which made him cackle loudly and Ushijima snort.

Hinata quieted his musings and had long breaths of soft laughter to replace it. They sat there and stared at each other some time. A warm melted caramel in Ushijima's eyes as he gazed down at Hinata. 

Then, yada yada, somebody reached out for somebody's cheek and then, yada yada, somebody kissed somebody and then, yada yada, they started sleeping together.)

 

 

Ushijima brought a fruit salad comprised of mainly yellow melon, blueberries and pomegranate; this was to be consumed along with a scorching cup of coffee. Hinata ate the salad sloppily, searching for his mouth with the fork while he watched the busy street from the apartment window. After finishing with the fruits, he held the coffee mug close to his mouth and relished at the steam that warmed his face, chilled by the air from the opened window. Ushijima gave a light chuckle which made Hinata turn his head to question him. "You look so content after you've eaten.".

He has a meeting at a near-by Caffe with Kageyama, so he gets dressed but stays for Ushijima to finish his coffee. "I'll walk you down to the Caffe," he offers, "I've got to meet with someone around there too". Hinata smiles: "Sure, thanks".

 

Kageyama was a few minutes late, like he always was but it was only a few minutes, so Hinata found it in himself to forgive him. For some reason, Ushijima makes him the weakest coffees he's ever had (too much milk), so Hinata orders another one spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg. He takes a window seat and without him noticing, Kageyama sits himself opposite to him.

 

Hinata only felt a bit awkward about his own feelings at the beginning, towards the end of their third year. However, he quickly recovered and being Kageyama's friend was okay for him, he enjoyed it. What was frustrating was where his thoughts would sometimes take him; at some point he thought that maybe all he felt towards Kageyama was physical attraction, which he found that it would have made things so much bearable.

He didn't want a relationship as lovers, but when he would break down crying in his room, the figure that Hinata imagined holding and soothing him was that of his best friend. 

 

"Hey" Kageyama greeted and Hinata smiled: "Hey".

They talked, they bickered, they drank their coffee; their mornings when they did meet were never to eventful, or even chatty for that matter, but seeing each other regularly was comforting (both of them enjoyed it). 

"Was that Wakatoshi you came in with?"

"Yep"

"I didn't know you kept in touch"

"We did". Hinata smiled, Kageyama's gaze seemed to sharpen. There was a longer pause that was then interrupted:

"Do you get along?"

"Yep" Hinata could feel the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, an inquisitive Kageyama was a cute Kageyama. An interrogation fantasy where Kageyama was a cop with tight trousers popped into Hinata's head, but he quickly dismissed it. Kageyama raised an eyebrow:

"Are you two going out?"

At this, Hinata was about to spit out his coffee, but he ended up choking on it instead when he tried to giggle.

"Nope"

"Oh".

 

Eventually, Kageyama had to leave, so Hinata remained at the table. Time to himself was never something that would benefit him, alone with his thoughts was always when he felt most vulnerable.

And he feels bad, that after a lovely meet-up with his friend, he has to go on with depressive thoughts. He feels bad that this wonderful friendship that they have built over the years is not enough, even if it is more than plenty. He's selfish, not satisfied with what he has; he has to take it out on others, to whom all he can give is sex and his frustrations. It wasn't fair to Kageyama, to Ushijima.

And these small thoughts start to gather, to pile until they grow heavy on his head. Tears threaten to bubble up and Hinata hastens to the toilette before he starts with a scene at his table.

 

His head hurts and after he locked the door to the small, tiled room, he trips and the tears burn in salty streams on his red cheeks. His face was hot with fever. Lengthy, annoyed whimpers left his mouth when he tried to steady his breathing. Luckily, it wasn't a breakdown, but rather a fit a child throws out of anger (because it doesn't know why it's crying; Hinata kind of knows though). There's a knock at the door and Hinata manages a quiet "Occupied" between whines.

The knocking stops but comes back louder after a few seconds. Hinata raises his voice (they probably didn't hear him the first time): "Occupied".

It stops for a minute, but the knocking is rudely loud and Hinata holds himself back in screaming. "OCCUPIED".

When the knocking continues, Hinata does no longer give any fucks on whether the guy (or gal) sees him crying and unlocks the door just to say

"FUCKIN' OCCU-"

And there is Ushijima, tall in front of him looking characteristically calm and in control. And there is Ushijima grabbing his face and there is Ushijima kissing him and there is Ushijima there telling him to **calm down.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say that Kags is in love with Hinata here, but the fic doesn't really need that. Just in case you were sad about Hinata's one sided thing.


End file.
